You Are Allowed to Have a Life After Clinic

“I have no time.” How many times have you heard this from a physician? I was one of them. The last patient was seen at 4:30 pm and I was still charting past 7 pm. The inbox was like a monster haunting me, waiting to devour me. Another night that I missed having dinner with my family. It was about bedtime when I finished work, only to think more about work in bed.

Is this really what practicing medicine is supposed to be like?

Physicians do not need to sacrifice their lives to be good doctors.

“Good doctors work long hours.” All too often, physicians are expected to work long hours, even inhuman hours. Somehow, some people – physicians and non-physicians – believe that physicians are a different human species, and that they can function working long hours and less hours of sleep. The common conditioning in medicine is that self-sacrifice is praised. “Patients first.” Inadvertently, that turned into putting yourself, the physician, last. Self-sacrifice is upheld as a virtue. Exhaustion is normalized. I remember expecting myself to work extra hours to finish the work, as “everyone” was doing it – that was normal. Personal needs are minimized as paying attention to yourself is almost categorized as a sin. All these create the sneaky yet powerful belief, “If I leave on time, I’m not doing enough.” Working endlessly is not proof of compassion or competence. A physician who is running on empty cannot sustainable care of others.

Give yourself permission to have a life. Permission changes everything. You are allowed to leave work on time, to rest and to enjoy evenings. You are allowed to have relationships and hobbies. You are allowed to experience joy outside of medicine. Your life is not something that starts after retirement or after burnout recovery. Your life is happening now.

What does “having a life” actually mean? I invite you to take a pause and define it for yourself. Here are some questions to ask yourself.

• What do you want this season of your life to look like?
• What matters most to you right now?
• What have you been postponing (and why)?
• What would feel joyful or meaningful after work?

Some examples of having a life are: having dinner with your family, reading non-medical books, creative hobbies, exercise, spending time outdoors, or simply resting without guilt.

You need time in order to have a life. Leaving work on time matters. Many physicians spend evenings to finish charting, to manage inbox tasks, to make phone calls to deal with prior authorizations. If you work until bedtime and wake up only to go back to work, that is survival – not living. The problem is not laziness or lack of dedication (in fact, one may argue it is over-dedication). The problem is unsustainable systems and habits that physicians have been taught to tolerate and live through.

Many physicians feel overwhelmed by the idea of “balance”. I have shared on multiple occasions that I prefer to think of it as “work-life harmony” (no, I did not coin this term; I heard it somewhere and adopted it). We are not standing on a scale or a balance. Each life is fluid and ever-changing. Some days you may get to live “more life” than other days. Assess where you are in terms of time. Perhaps start with a smaller goal. For example, set a goal to finish work one hour earlier than usual, or leave the clinic on time twice a week, or complete charts before dinner time. They are a stretch but more manageable than a long-term and bigger goal. You do not have to transform everything overnight. Small wins rebuild confidence and possibility.

Imagine yourself walking out of the clinic free – physically free because you finished your work, and mentally free because you are not carrying the invisible burden on your shoulders. You get to enjoy dinner without charting. You have energy to spend quality time with your loved ones. You are going to sleep without dread. You are enjoying medicine again. This version of life, the version you want, is not unrealistic. It is possible with intentional change.

Physicians often believe that where they are now is “how medicine is”. “Everyone is working extra hours they did not sign up for.” “I have no choice.” I invite you to lovingly challenge yourself with those thoughts – are they true, absolutely true? You may not control every system problem, but you can change how you work within your life. You have more control than you realize. You deserve a career that supports your well-being, not destroys it.

You are allowed to enjoy your life now. Your worth is not measured by how many extra hours you work. You can care deeply about patients and care for yourself too. You cannot pour from an empty tank. If you feel stuck and do not know where to start, you do not have to figure this out alone. Talk to a close colleague, a mentor or a coach. Be open to possibilities. We all have a finite period of time on earth. Let us create a life to live now.