Whose Opinion Matters To You?

In a recent women physicians conference, there was an expressive writing workshop. The facilitator asked the group to draw a 2-inch by 2-inch square. Inside the square, we were instructed to write down the names of those whose opinions matter to us.

I invite you to do this exercise too.

Thanks to my small-font handwriting, I was able to fit in twelve names. The last one on the list – me.

Your opinion about yourself matters. In fact, it matters the most. You spend 24 hours a day with yourself. You talk to yourself all the time, even when you do not realize it. You always have an opinion about you, even when you are not aware of it.

Even when you ignore your voice, even when you pretend it is not there, you talk to yourself throughout the day. Your opinion about you matters.

In the above exercise, if you did not put your own name in the box, ask yourself why.

Are you valuing other people’s opinions more than your own?

We are human beings. We interact with other people in different situations. It is difficult not to make others’ opinions mean something to us. The question is, are you letting others’ opinions define who you are?

Other people think what they think. They have the freedom to do that, just as you have the freedom to come up with any opinions. Their views matter to you only if you let them. There are two questions: who are you living for and what are you living for?

When you value other people’s opinions more than your own, you are giving away the power to be who you truly are. You are letting others define who you are. That may not be who you want to be. The other option is to acknowledge the opinions of others, and continue to be you.

In order to be fully who you are, your own opinion matters.

Who are you? How would you describe yourself? Do you like yourself? Do you love who you are?

To answer those questions, it is important to really look into your own thoughts about you. In your eyes, are you smart, kind, loving and helpful? Or do you see yourself as someone who is mediocre, scared, overwhelmed and undesirable?

What you think about yourself affects how you feel about yourself. If you mainly have unhelpful thoughts about you, you are unlikely to achieve big goals. You are most likely to feel inadequate, incapable and insecure. It is easy for you to feel like a failure because your own opinion is the worst critic of all time. As a result, you are limiting yourself in what you do as you believe that you are not able to make any big leaps. You are blocking any potentials from shining through your critic self. You do not believe in yourself. As a result, it is hard for you to achieve any big goals. You are constantly holding yourself back.

When you have helpful thoughts about you, you are likely to go far in life. You are likely to feel confident and capable. You believe that you are enough. You believe that you are worthy. You are more likely to achieve big goals. You feel more empowered to try new things, to face obstacles head on and to dream big.

You acknowledge opinions from others, and you know that they do not define who you are. You love yourself. You love who you are. You allow yourself to be you, the authentic you.

Your opinion about you matters. It is actually the most important opinion of all. Instead of leaving your own opinion in the subconscious mind or avoiding it, get to know it. Get to know what you think about yourself. Learn to be kind to yourself. When you learn and grow in a kind and loving environment, you are more likely to success and uncover your hidden potential. You are more likely to spend more time in the pleasant emotions. You are more likely to achieve big goals.