What Would Your 80th Birthday Look Like?

Celebration is a wonderful thing. It brings peace and joy to our souls. I have always shared that celebrating anything big and small elevates our mood, efficiency and overall well-being. My Auntie Esther loves to celebrate – wedding anniversaries, graduation and birthdays. I recently attended her 80^th birthday celebration.

There were about sixty people. We all dressed up for the occasion. Auntie Esther looked radiant. She had this light of warmth that lit up the banquet room. She looked like an elegant movie star. She does not look or move like a day older than sixty. Her children and grandchildren all gave a speech about how thankful they were to grow up having Auntie Esther as an example of being a kind, loving and God-fearing person.

As I reflect on my life, I also envision my future. If I have the privilege to live to my 80^th birthday, what would it be like? As a physician, what would I want it to be – and for other physicians too?

Health is no doubt the most important thing. Without health, we cannot function the way we want. Auntie Esther has always kept a healthy lifestyle. She has a balanced diet, adequate sleep and she stays active. Busy physicians often skip at least one of these three things. As I believe and share with my patients that these are the three pillars of health, I invite my fellow physicians to prioritize your health.

We cannot talk about physical health without mentioning the importance of mental health. For a long time, physician well-being was not a thing. Physicians were supposed to work hard and take care of their patients, to the extent that working overtime was a virtue. Taking a sick day was almost a sin. There was such immense guilt that many physicians would rather work through their physical illness than to take a day off. Working extra hours was expected and still expected of physicians by many non-physicians. We were taught to focus on patients first, service first. That teaching implies not to focus on our own well-being as it is not essential. Having lived through that concept of physician life and experienced years of stress and overwhelm, I realized that belief is not optimal for physicians or their patients. We cannot give what we do not have. Yes, we have the knowledge and expertise to function and provide the technical aspect of medical care. Medicine is about taking care of the physical illnesses while addressing the mental and emotional well-being associated with the physical ailment (in specialties such as psychiatry, the focus is more on the mental wellness). Without our own mental well-being, it is difficult to establish a deeper connection with the patients and address their emotional insecurities.

One of the most important things in life is to live in alignment with our own values. Know what they are and examine your life. Are you living your life based on those principles? Is there something you can do to live even more so? I do believe that we can create harmony with our career and non-work living. Yes, it is always a work in progress. As we are at different stages of our lives, our priorities change. Our core values do not change. Auntie Esther is very hard-working – she still works in her company to this day. She takes care of herself and, as one of her daughters shared, she is the “glue” for the family. She brings everyone together. Auntie Esther lives in a way that work is not overshadowing her family life. There is this beautiful harmony which creates love, peace and calm.

It is possible to start creating that harmony in life, even as busy physicians. Be clear on your values and know what you want. Is there a gap between where you are and where you want to be? Examine your life and explore what the biggest obstacle is. For me, the biggest challenge was working the extra hours to finish the patient charts. Since I could not figure it out alone, I asked for help. Now that I reclaimed those hours of my days, there is more harmony in my life. Patient care is better. There is a better connection with people around me. There is even time for me to help other physicians do the same. I live in purpose and in alignment with my values. As I grow older, while the things I do may change, they will still be guided by my beliefs. Start now, if you have not already – to live the way you want. Maybe we do not have to wait until we are eighty years old to celebrate a life that is full.