What If You Did Not Have to Wait to Be Happy?

It was 7 pm. Six more charts to finish. I could sense my brain slowly shutting down. It was getting harder to focus. There were many thoughts randomly popping up in my mind. I wanted to go home to see my kids before bedtime, then I would finish those leftover patient charts. If only I could finish all my notes and phone calls by 5:30 pm, I would be happy.

That was several years ago. That unsustainable lifestyle lasted for a few days. Looking back, it was a miracle that I survived it without going insane. The thought that I would be happy if I could finish my work by 5:30 pm was a tricky thought. Tricky not because I wanted to be more efficient and leave work at a decent hour. It was tricky because it implied that I could only be happy if I achieved that goal of finishing my work by 5:30 pm. Essentially, I was telling myself, without realizing it, that I could not be happy until I achieved that goal time.

It is great to have a goal. It gives you the direction to go. It guides your decisions and actions. The goal does not have to be the destination where you find joy. There is no reason to limit ourselves to experiencing joy only when we get to another milestone or achievement.

Life is a journey we take once. When the time passes, we cannot go back and redo it. We might as well do our best and live our best. Part of living our best is to feel our best. It does not mean that you are going to experience joy all the time. It means that you are intentionally finding more opportunities to infuse joy in your life. Unless you choose to feel miserable most of the time, I am happy to share that it is possible to feel more joy starting now.

First, acknowledge your feelings, especially the unpleasant emotions. Explore the reason for feeling a certain way. That past me was miserable and frustrated because I was thinking that I should be done with work by 5:30 pm.

Second, believe that it is possible to achieve your goal. Hope is powerful. The hope that things will get better is a strong motivation for you to take actions toward that goal. Your brain will be open to explore different ways to achieve that goal. Without the belief that it is possible, you probably will not put in your best effort, or you probably will not even attempt.

Third, it is possible to experience joy now. You do not have to wait until your goal is achieved to feel joy. You get to appreciate the journey and the process. Rather than only setting your eyes in the future, you can live in the moment. You can decide to look for moments of joy. Even though you are not at your goal, look at what is going well. Sometimes it is something you do not even think about, or something you take for granted.

That was what I learned in my journey toward leaving work on time. I did not have to wait until I could go home by 5:30 pm to be happy. Being grateful throughout the day allowed me to appreciate more things than I realized I could. It could be something small, such as that usually anxious patient was calm today, or I was able to see patients within 30 minutes of their appointment time.

Gratitude lets me experience more joy. In turn, that joy is fuel to motivate me and maintain my consistency in moving toward my goal. Of course, the joy of achievement is still there. Then there is the motivation to go for another goal – not because you are looking to feel more joy when you accomplish another milestone, but because you learn to be present, to be grateful for little things, to act in alignment with your values, and to experience joy throughout your journey.