Turn Down the Volume: Mastering Emotions in the Moment

When my son was around four or five years old, he would sometimes be upset because he did not get his way. He would have his eyes wide open, pant, and sometimes even yell. The first instinct for me was to ask him to breathe. Take deep breaths. When he settled down, I would talk to him about his feelings and what values to honor.

Every day is a new day of challenges. Those challenges are opportunities to learn and grow. As physicians, you know that not everything goes smoothly, no matter how well you prepare. Patients may come late for one reason or another. There may be a computer glitch. Or a patient may have an unexpected adverse event. It is natural to experience various emotions throughout the day.

When you are in a pleasant mood, things seem to go faster and according to your preference. When you feel upset, it is quite the opposite. You tend to think about what else is wrong, essentially fueling that unpleasant emotion to amplify it. When you are upset, you may feel even more so simply because you are upset. When there are all these different thoughts in your mind, it is difficult to focus on what you are doing.

When you find yourself feeling upset and having trouble concentrating, pause. Just as I asked my son – take some deep breaths. Acknowledge what you are feeling and do not avoid it. Label that emotion. Are you feeling furious, frustrated or jittery? Once you identify the main unpleasant emotion, the next step is to explore what is the cause of that emotion. It is important to realize that your emotions are not stemmed from a situation; emotions are generated because you have a certain opinion about a situation.  Once you know what you are thinking that is causing how you are feeling, the next question to ask yourself is, “Is that true?” Are there other possibilities, or other ways to think about the same situation? The answer is almost always yes.

All these thoughts may be going through your head at light speed – while you are at work. Sometimes, it is enough to simply shift your focus on another perspective to get back to better concentration. Other times, you may need more time to process. If that is the case, intentionally turn down the volume of that emotion and ask yourself what the most important or pressing next step to take. By turning down the volume, it allows you to have your unpleasant feekings go to the background while you get your focus back to your daily routine and patient care. Turning down the volume is not ignoring how you feel; it is a chance for you to take a break from that intense emotion and for you to pick that up later, when your mental capacity is better.

If you find that what is upsetting you at work seems to be the same thing over and over, besides managing your emotions, it is also important to see what you can do about the actual situation. For example, do you have an idea of how to operate in a way that you prefer? If it is not something you can change on your own, perhaps bringing it up to the administration is a start. Everyone – administration, staff and patients – wants to be interacting with pleasant physicians, or at least physicians who are not experiencing unpleasant emotions all the time.

Always ask for help. It may be talking to a friend who is not in medicine, pouring out to a mentor, or seeking guidance from a coach. Whatever way you choose, it is better than bottling up your unpleasant emotions.

The sooner you pause and acknowledge how you feel, the more you face your unpleasant emotions, the faster you get to process them and move on. The more you practice processing your emotions on a busy day, the more effective you are doing it, and the faster you get your focus back. After all, if your unpleasant emotions are indirectly causing you to slow down, you are probably even more upset because of it. Learning how to manage our thoughts and emotions affect our emotional well-being, focus and efficiency at work. As human beings are emotional beings, this is a very important skill to learn.