The Three Ingredients of Joy

In a recent livestream interview on the show “Embracing Joy with Dr. Majette”, I was asked what the top three ingredients would be if I were to make a cake of joy. Without hesitation, my answer was gratitude, love and light-heartedness.

Joy is a state of content, fulfilled and satisfied. I also think that you feel peaceful when you are experiencing joy. While happiness is more episodic, I view joy as a more long-lasting state of being.

Let me be clear. When you get to experience the feeling of joy, it does not mean that you are no longer going to experience other unpleasant feelings such as anger, frustration or worry; it means that you get to find out what brings you joy and you do more that that. It is impossible to only experience pleasant feelings in life, and that is ok. We can, however, learn to spend more time in joy rather than in despair.

Gratitude. When you are grateful for something, it is easier for you to focus on what you have rather than what you lack. One great example I often see is from my oncology patients. A person can be grateful in any given circumstances. You may be an advanced cancer patient with widespread disease and be grateful. You are grateful for another day of life. You are grateful for the medical team that has been caring for you. You are grateful for the support of your family. You are grateful for tolerable adverse effects from your treatment. The more you look for them, the easier you can find things to be grateful for. When you are grateful, you actively seek for things you like in any situations. The more you do it, the more you get to experience joy.

Love. Love is when you allow yourself to care for someone deeply. You focus on what is best for that person. You are ready to help or to lift that person up. You love that person for who they are, just as they are. As the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” This summarizes it all for my view of love. Love leads to joy as you get to accept the person for who they are. You love that person no matter what. You embrace the imperfections. To love is to experience that selfless affection for someone. You get to choose who you love or what you love. Love is pure as it is not weighed by your wealth or your actions.

Light-heartedness. Life can be very serious if you make it to be. When you are light-hearted about things in general, it is easier to let things go. You get to let go of what you cannot control. When you are light-hearted, it is also easier for you to be open-minded. You are more willing to explore new things, new ideas, new concepts. You are more open to try and experiment things in life. You allow your curious mind to wander to places you have not thought of. When you are light-hearted about something, you are easier to let go of something unpleasant. You are more likely to focus on the more pleasant things in life. I always share with my oncology patients that they have a serious cancer diagnosis, we can use a light-hearted approach to treat and manage the condition.

When you get to focus on gratitude, love and light-heartedness, you focus on things you are grateful for instead of taking things for granted. You allow yourself to love without boundaries the way you want. You are light-hearted and ready to explore different options in life, different ways to view things. All these ingredients bake up a cake of joy that you get to share with people around you.