How to Have a Good Day – No Matter What is on Your Schedule

There are so many things to learn from oncology patients. There are patients who have stage IV cancer, on active treatment, and are smiling and grateful. They understand life is limited and they focus on living the best way they can rather than waiting to die. They acknowledge their diagnoses and they are not afraid. They know there are more challenging days than others, especially when they experience more adverse effects from their treatments.

No matter where you are or what you are doing, it is possible to have a good day, every day. It is a decision. When you get up in the morning, what is your very first thought? It is common to think that “today is going to be a long day”, or “I don’t want to get up to go to work”, or “this is stressful”. How do you feel when you think something like this?

I invite you to be intentional about what to think. Think in a way that is helpful. Decide how you want your day to be – I do not mean that you can control everything that happens in a day. When you decide it is going to be a good day, you will focus on the good and make things work. You do not have to give your power away to your circumstances to decide how you feel.

Decide that it is possible to have a good day. By “good”, I am by no means encouraging you to believe that everything is going to happen according to your plan or your will. Good is subjective and it is different for everyone. Someone’s “good” is not the same as yours, so do not try to live someone’s life. “Good” is desired, to your liking. It does not mean events always happen in the way you desire. There are two categories of things in life: things we can control and things we cannot control. When something happens that is out of your control, do not argue with it. Accept it and use your mental energy to figure out how to face the situation.

“Good” also does not mean that things always go as expected or according to your plan. “Good” does not mean you only experience pleasant emotions. The decision of having a good day is not the same as toxic positivity. People with toxic positivity believe that everything has to be pleasant, or that you always have to look on the bright side. This means that they are avoiding negative emotions. They are avoiding to feel their true feelings. They are denying their own emotions. This is not a healthy way to live.

It is important to understand that we are always going to experience pleasant and unpleasant emotions at different times. It is part of our human nature. When you allow yourself to feel your feelings, you empower yourself by being open to find out why you feel a certain way. In other words, what you are thinking causes you to have those emotions. In order to have a good day, it is important to first let yourself feel the different ends of emotions.

“Good” can look different every day. You get to decide. For a patient on chemotherapy, a good day may be a day when he is experiencing tolerable adverse effects from his treatment. For a mother, a good day may be a day when she can prepare meals for her children, run errands and finish her full-time job at a decent hour.

A good day may be a day that you achieve a set goal. Decide what you want to accomplish that day. Work backwards to see what you can do to achieve it.

Having a good day is a decision, not depending on what happens during that day. Believe that it is possible to have a good day. Decide what “good” means to you, keeping in mind that there are things you can control and things you cannot control. For things you cannot control, accept them rather than arguing with reality. Use more energy to face the situation and figure out what to do about it. Having the awareness of yourself, of how you are thinking and feeling is a very important step to live a good day. Allow yourself to feel all your emotions. Set a goal for the day and explore what you can do to achieve it. Remind yourself that you will have a good day throughout the day. That reminder serves as a nudge to generate hope, determination, focus or whatever emotion to help you achieve exactly just that – a good day.