Complaining Feels Good – Until It Does Not

“No one really cares about us. They just keep adding more work.” This was something a staff member once said. Following that, another staff chimed in and voiced how much more responsibility she had while her compensation remained the same.

People tend to join in when you complain at work. You complain because you are unhappy about something, or you think something should be different. Some people complain to seek approval from others. They are looking for someone for affirmation. That seems to be a harmless thing to do. You complain about something at work, and you get support from your coworkers. In fact, complaining has detrimental effects not just on yourself, but also on your coworkers.

The more you complain about something, the more things you find to complain about. As you are dissatisfied with something, you are likely to be spending more time in stress, frustration, anger, and other unpleasant emotions. These emotions are draining your energy, and they affect your performance and efficiency negatively. The more you complain, the more you dwell in those negative emotions. Things you complain about may actually seem worse than the reality.

Complaining is not the best way to seek approval of others. As you complain about work, others may join the non-constructive discussion. On the surface, complaining seems to be a bonding tool among coworkers. In reality, complaining is planting the seed of negative relationships. In other words, you are spreading negative energy in the workplace. Emotions are contagious. You are shaping the work environment to be feeding the energy of dissatisfaction, frustration, helplessness and stress.

Instead of dwelling in the dissatisfaction at work, focus on being constructive. Intentionally choose to focus on what is going well at work. What are some things you like about your workplace? Examine if there are any problems. Acknowledge what is not going well. Address that there is a problem. Rather than arguing about why the problem exists (or should not have existed), rather than starting to complain about how annoying it is to have that issue, focus on what can be done about it. Instead of complaining, start coming up with solutions. Be constructive. Nothing is perfect in this world. There is always room for growth and room to improve. Based on what you know and what your experiences are, what are some possible solutions?

It is essential to have a constructive mindset to support a caring and nourishing work environment. No matter what line of work you do, you are in a position of helping others in different capacities. Complaining and dwelling in that mode of dissatisfaction does not help anyone. It also lets you spend more time feeling stuck rather than moving forward.

Rather than eliminating all complaints, I would suggest physicians have constructive complaints. This means to speak up when you see a problem – not behind someone’s back, but directly to the source or the person in charge. Decide that you want to improve the situation, so that you are not stuck in the space of the complaining cycle of complaining begets more complaints. When you identify a problem, start coming up with possible solutions. What can be done about it? In other words, you complain to improve rather than complain for the sake of complaining.

Be respectful. If you are complaining about someone, talk to that person rather than talking behind their back. Be constructive and keep in mind that you are building up rather than tearing someone down. Always be open to ask for help.

The one thing we cannot forget about in tackling complaining is gratitude. Practice gratitude always. Especially in challenging times, find something you are grateful for. When you are grateful, you are less likely to complain. Yes, the problem is still there, and it is easier for you to focus on finding the solution. The practice of gratitude even in hard times prevents you from complaining and shifts your focus to what is going well and what solutions you can come up with.

Complaining at work seems to be harmless but it is a sneaky practice that affects you negatively. Complaining is contagious and it affects people around you in a non-constructive way. Rather than complaining about something at work, acknowledge that there is an issue. Focus on finding a solution – what you can do about it. Be respectful, be constructive, be ready to build up your team. Practice gratitude always, as it shifts your focus to what is going well and enhances constructive energy.